Hello 2012!!
I've gotta say... even though there are no real changes in life when the calendar changes from one year to the next, I am insanely happy to see 2011 go. I am pretty sure that 2011 will go down in history as one of the worst years over all... but that doesn't mean there were not a multitude of great times as well. I'd say the good and bad were pretty much neck and neck. In light of taking on a fresh way of looking at life, I don't want to dwell on the bad, so instead I want to recap the triumphs. I took in a lot of lessons in 2011. I accomplished many things I never thought possible. I am sure I will forget a few things... but here is what I've got for the things that 2011 did for me.
I drove from Chicago, to Louisville, to San Diego in 5 days with just me, two kids and two dogs.
I have been able to be here for Blondie as he goes through each surgery (3 so far).
I have stuck to one of my resolutions from last year and that was to not take everything so personally. Understanding that everyone has their own battles they are fighting everyday, so the way they treat me is not always a reflection of me, but of their past. Being more compassionate instead of defensive. Its gotten me burned, but still worth it because I can say that I was the one who took the high road.
I made some amazing friends who are there for me even when I wanted nothing to do with anyone.
I have begun to catch a glimpse of my true worth through said friends. I have a habit of selling myself short and allowing people to take my kindness for weakness... but that is rapidly changing.
I continued to fight for my marriage, even when I was being told to just let it go.
I was selected as the Ombudsman for my husbands command, and I am loving every minute of it!!
My daughter finally let go of her plug (pacifier)! I had myself all worked up for nothing about it too... she gave it up like a champ.
I have been able to create a balance between how much time I give to others and how much time I spend with my family. I might be needed by a lot of people, but in 20 years, they will be a distant memory while my family will still be here for me.
I have been able witness to the hard work and dedication of my husband through the achievements of the sailors in his division, even in the short time he has been a part of the command.
I have done laundry. I know some of you are laughing... but for the ones who know me, KNOW I don't do laundry. I didn't do laundry for a long time... but I am finally doing laundry like a big girl :))
I have stopped being SUCH a push over with the kids and actually following through with punishments.
Most importantly, I have not really changed anything about me as a result of the efforts of others who have made feverish attempts to break me down. I am still the same person, just with a new attitude :)
That should about sum it up!! I have many hopes and goals for 2012. I know we are only 2 days in, but so far so good ;)
Monday, January 2, 2012
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Momma's worry, It's what we do,
Today was the big day! My guy went off to his very first day of Kindergarten.
First, it should be known that he is the momma's boy. He is the one who was in bed with me for 6 months since Daddy deployed the say after he was born. He is the one who knows how I am feeling at any given moment. He is the one that tells me how much he loves me all the time; even just after getting in trouble. He is never short on love and kindness. While these are traits that I am so happy he posses... not all kids do.
Some kids are mean and take advantage of the kids who are kind. So how do I deal with the fact that inevitably, someday, another kid will be mean to my sweet baby?
How would I help him cope if he has some sort of fluke accident and pees his pants or something?
These are the questions ripping at my heart today. I may or may not ever have to face them, but chances are, HE will. It is up to him to come to me. Not to mention what he said to me last night when I tucked him in. I asked him if he was excited about starting school and he told me he was just a little bit scared. When I asked him why, he said because he didn't want us to have to worry about wasting money on new things for him for school.
Ouch.
I never meant for them to realize things like that, though I suppose him having an awareness of money isn't the worst thing in the world. However, I realized how much I let our current issue affect him. This last payday, we got $0. Yea... Bank of America (who will go down in history as the absolute worst bank ever in my opinion.) closed our checking account, simply stating that per the new account agreement, the could close our account at anytime. Except they chose to do it less than a week before payday, so we did not have time to switch it to another account. How nice of them to not even notify me, right? I had to find out at the ATM. So his money went there, and they won't give us access to it. At all. Then the person who is supposed to help us within his command screwed up by giving us the WRONG paperwork to get it fixed. Insult to injury. So anyway, the point is that we had no money come in this payday making things very tight. I had already gotten Bubba his new stuff for school, so I don't know how that came to be his worry, but it broke my heart. These are not things that he should even be thinking about. Period. Back to the point...
To make matters worse, his baby sister was the one who cried when we dropped him off. We took him to his classroom and off he went. After two years of preschool, it was much less dramatic than as if it were his first day ever of any kind of school. But as we left, Bug started screaming for him and telling me we couldn't leave him there, that he was HER brother and she was HIS sister and we just HAD to go back and get him. So I carried my sobbing princess down the ramp and away from the class before it got him upset as well, all the while fighting back the wall of tears that were building up. Finally she just settled into my neck and cried as I carried her back to the car. Since we got home, she hasn't left my lap. I'm ok with that :)
After Rio is over, I think I will take her down to the library here and spend some quality time with her. Daddy is gone for a few days (which is probably for the best because due to the previously discussed situation, there was no extra money for him to get smokes, making him NOT the best person to live with the last few days) so I will be focusing on my babies and working on getting into a good swing of this new schedule.
I also have some big big news still... but I have to wait just a bit longer before I can make a post about it!! Believe me, it is k i l l i n g me to not be able to post it, but soon enough! It's big for me anyway :)
Happy First Day of School everyone!!
First, it should be known that he is the momma's boy. He is the one who was in bed with me for 6 months since Daddy deployed the say after he was born. He is the one who knows how I am feeling at any given moment. He is the one that tells me how much he loves me all the time; even just after getting in trouble. He is never short on love and kindness. While these are traits that I am so happy he posses... not all kids do.
Some kids are mean and take advantage of the kids who are kind. So how do I deal with the fact that inevitably, someday, another kid will be mean to my sweet baby?
How would I help him cope if he has some sort of fluke accident and pees his pants or something?
These are the questions ripping at my heart today. I may or may not ever have to face them, but chances are, HE will. It is up to him to come to me. Not to mention what he said to me last night when I tucked him in. I asked him if he was excited about starting school and he told me he was just a little bit scared. When I asked him why, he said because he didn't want us to have to worry about wasting money on new things for him for school.
Ouch.
I never meant for them to realize things like that, though I suppose him having an awareness of money isn't the worst thing in the world. However, I realized how much I let our current issue affect him. This last payday, we got $0. Yea... Bank of America (who will go down in history as the absolute worst bank ever in my opinion.) closed our checking account, simply stating that per the new account agreement, the could close our account at anytime. Except they chose to do it less than a week before payday, so we did not have time to switch it to another account. How nice of them to not even notify me, right? I had to find out at the ATM. So his money went there, and they won't give us access to it. At all. Then the person who is supposed to help us within his command screwed up by giving us the WRONG paperwork to get it fixed. Insult to injury. So anyway, the point is that we had no money come in this payday making things very tight. I had already gotten Bubba his new stuff for school, so I don't know how that came to be his worry, but it broke my heart. These are not things that he should even be thinking about. Period. Back to the point...
To make matters worse, his baby sister was the one who cried when we dropped him off. We took him to his classroom and off he went. After two years of preschool, it was much less dramatic than as if it were his first day ever of any kind of school. But as we left, Bug started screaming for him and telling me we couldn't leave him there, that he was HER brother and she was HIS sister and we just HAD to go back and get him. So I carried my sobbing princess down the ramp and away from the class before it got him upset as well, all the while fighting back the wall of tears that were building up. Finally she just settled into my neck and cried as I carried her back to the car. Since we got home, she hasn't left my lap. I'm ok with that :)
After Rio is over, I think I will take her down to the library here and spend some quality time with her. Daddy is gone for a few days (which is probably for the best because due to the previously discussed situation, there was no extra money for him to get smokes, making him NOT the best person to live with the last few days) so I will be focusing on my babies and working on getting into a good swing of this new schedule.
I also have some big big news still... but I have to wait just a bit longer before I can make a post about it!! Believe me, it is k i l l i n g me to not be able to post it, but soon enough! It's big for me anyway :)
Happy First Day of School everyone!!
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Summer is almost gone!
Who's ready for some updates?? :))
Sorry its been so darn long. Honestly though, there hasn't been much to blog about. We have just been enjoying our summer, spending time with family and friends, and getting ready for school. My Bubba starts school on Tuesday!! He went to two years of PreK, but I am still nervous for him. Kindergarten is a whole new ball game. (As I write this, he is trying to figure out how to play Daddy's Call of Duty game, and teaching Bug at the same time. Haha!) We have an ice cream social to go to on Friday where we will meet his teacher and get to see his new class room and everything. Such a grab bag of mixed emotions!
I am debating on if I want to send Bug to preschool this year, or if she will go next year. I really think the time for just me and her will be great. We can start out own little preschool routine at home. My plan is actually to walk Bubba to school in the mornings with Bug, and then to stop at the community gym on the way home. At least a couple times a week. Other days I just want to come home and do my Turbo Fire or 30 Day Shred. He will have short days on Thursdays, so I think that will be my off day.
On Monday, Blondie had his second surgery. The procedure is actually a laryngoscopy where they use a laser to remove the masses in his throat. There was a little bit of regrowth after the last one, but that is to be expected. This time though, they were able to clear off both sides of his vocal cords. His voice sounds amazing already! I couldn't believe it. He goes back next week for his post op, and basically we will just play it by ear for the next procedure. When his voice starts to fade again, we will make the appointment. He takes it all so well. Pretty amazing kid.
School started back up for me last week too. I'm almost in a rut with school. I have not had a break since last winter. I think I will probably skip next summer... especially since Boats will probably be gone for a while around then. I am enjoying the classes I am taking this term so far. I have toyed with the idea of changing my major, but I think I might just get my associates in Criminal Justice as planned, and then I can change it for my BA and roll my credits over. I think by the time I am ready to start my BA (which at this rate should be next fall) I might try to transfer to a local university. I think I will end up in a Paralegal program with a minor in counseling. I want to eventually get into victim advocacy, so those two areas of study will really help there. Although, I will be getting the chance to get my feet wet in all of that over the next couple of years anyway through a volunteer experience I was fortunate enough to be selected for. But that's another blog for another day :)
As for me and Boat's... we are doing great. We are working hard to make sure that no matter how stressful things get from outside factors, we take time for each other AND ourselves. We never really had the opportunity to have time for just us in our relationship when dating or after we were married. Now that the kids are a little bit older and I feel more comfortable leaving them with sitters (which is easier with family around too!) we are making more time for just us. We are all set to go to this years Navy Ball, which is a big deal after the awful time we had at the one in Great Lakes. We ended up having to leave before dinner because their childcare was awful. Since that won't be an issue this year, we are ready for it! We got the room booked at the hotel the ball is at, I have my gown, and my hair will be taken care of by the amazing Angeline at Symmetricut Salon in East County. I just need to find the right shoes for the dress and cut up my arms a little more (as far as muscle goes... don't be calling fleet and family on me, lol ;) and we will be ready to tear that place up aaaaaaaaall night!!
Time to kick the boy off the playstation so I can get my morning workout in. Then we have some yard work to attend to this afternoon :). Part of me still wants to request to move to a house with a bigger yard... but I love my neighbors too much, lol. Worth the trade off. Unless we could stay on our same street... nah. Not worth the hassle I'm sure, lol. I promise to not be so distant between posts next time!
Sorry its been so darn long. Honestly though, there hasn't been much to blog about. We have just been enjoying our summer, spending time with family and friends, and getting ready for school. My Bubba starts school on Tuesday!! He went to two years of PreK, but I am still nervous for him. Kindergarten is a whole new ball game. (As I write this, he is trying to figure out how to play Daddy's Call of Duty game, and teaching Bug at the same time. Haha!) We have an ice cream social to go to on Friday where we will meet his teacher and get to see his new class room and everything. Such a grab bag of mixed emotions!
I am debating on if I want to send Bug to preschool this year, or if she will go next year. I really think the time for just me and her will be great. We can start out own little preschool routine at home. My plan is actually to walk Bubba to school in the mornings with Bug, and then to stop at the community gym on the way home. At least a couple times a week. Other days I just want to come home and do my Turbo Fire or 30 Day Shred. He will have short days on Thursdays, so I think that will be my off day.
On Monday, Blondie had his second surgery. The procedure is actually a laryngoscopy where they use a laser to remove the masses in his throat. There was a little bit of regrowth after the last one, but that is to be expected. This time though, they were able to clear off both sides of his vocal cords. His voice sounds amazing already! I couldn't believe it. He goes back next week for his post op, and basically we will just play it by ear for the next procedure. When his voice starts to fade again, we will make the appointment. He takes it all so well. Pretty amazing kid.
School started back up for me last week too. I'm almost in a rut with school. I have not had a break since last winter. I think I will probably skip next summer... especially since Boats will probably be gone for a while around then. I am enjoying the classes I am taking this term so far. I have toyed with the idea of changing my major, but I think I might just get my associates in Criminal Justice as planned, and then I can change it for my BA and roll my credits over. I think by the time I am ready to start my BA (which at this rate should be next fall) I might try to transfer to a local university. I think I will end up in a Paralegal program with a minor in counseling. I want to eventually get into victim advocacy, so those two areas of study will really help there. Although, I will be getting the chance to get my feet wet in all of that over the next couple of years anyway through a volunteer experience I was fortunate enough to be selected for. But that's another blog for another day :)
As for me and Boat's... we are doing great. We are working hard to make sure that no matter how stressful things get from outside factors, we take time for each other AND ourselves. We never really had the opportunity to have time for just us in our relationship when dating or after we were married. Now that the kids are a little bit older and I feel more comfortable leaving them with sitters (which is easier with family around too!) we are making more time for just us. We are all set to go to this years Navy Ball, which is a big deal after the awful time we had at the one in Great Lakes. We ended up having to leave before dinner because their childcare was awful. Since that won't be an issue this year, we are ready for it! We got the room booked at the hotel the ball is at, I have my gown, and my hair will be taken care of by the amazing Angeline at Symmetricut Salon in East County. I just need to find the right shoes for the dress and cut up my arms a little more (as far as muscle goes... don't be calling fleet and family on me, lol ;) and we will be ready to tear that place up aaaaaaaaall night!!
Time to kick the boy off the playstation so I can get my morning workout in. Then we have some yard work to attend to this afternoon :). Part of me still wants to request to move to a house with a bigger yard... but I love my neighbors too much, lol. Worth the trade off. Unless we could stay on our same street... nah. Not worth the hassle I'm sure, lol. I promise to not be so distant between posts next time!
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