I am pretty sure there is no better way to start a Monday than getting an early morning text from your boss saying we are closed, so we aren't working! Not that I don't like my job, I actually really do. I work for someone I actually like (which is a big deal for my experiences here with people), the work itself is easy enough and I get to put a little of my OCD to work with the reorganizing we have been doing. Not to mention, I get to bring the kids with me when I need to. They get to just hang out and play while I work. But lets face it, no one likes ending a long weekend with having to get up on Monday and go to work, so it was pretty awesome. I actually thought I was dreaming when I woke up this morning about the message I had gotten from her, so I check again, haha. Now I'm just enjoying a cup of coffee while the kids play and make unnatural amounts of noise before we really kick off our day.
Christmas went well! The kids of course got spoiled rotten. Christmas brought something else though that I was not expecting. Two things actually. First off, Grace all of a sudden decided to start going on the potty. She went every time except during naps. It has continued since then too. As soon as she gets up in the morning she tells me 'I gotta potty mommy!' So we run to the potty and she goes. I don't want to get too excited about it, but I am very very hopeful that this time is THE time! The second thing is nothing short of a miracle. Most of you know about the troubles I have had with Harley and his screaming when I have him on the leash. When I say screaming... I mean just that. Here is a video from a couple months ago:
So as you can see, I'm not exaggerating. I had been at a loss for how to correct this. He acted like he had been beaten his whole life, which is not the case! I brought him home at 7 weeks from an amazing home that I know he was never abused or neglected. It was partially my fault because I didn't start leash training right away. Keep in mind though, he does the same kind of screaming even if he just thinks he is in trouble or is being forced to do something he does not want to do. 'Pain in the ass' does not even begin to cover it. Little by little I have worked with him, but I didn't feel like I was getting anywhere.
After the kids went to bed on Christmas day, I felt brave. I decided to take Harley for a walk. I was definitely prepared to have to come right back in when the screaming got too intense. When I got home outside, I leashed him and off we went.
No screaming.
Who is this dog?? Surely this can't be MY Harley! We went a few blocks and the whole time he was just excited and happy. A few times he would try to run ahead and the lead would whip him back when he got to the end, but he still did not scream, he just laid down on the ground and looked at me all confused. I thought maybe it was a fluke, so I took him again last night and this time we went even farther. It was no fluke. We had another amazing walk, probably almost a mile. I am floored. And extremely thankful. It is amazing how a simple, peaceful walk can be so amazing.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Call off the search teams!
Hi there. Remember me? That chick who used to blog all the time? Yes, I am still alive! School took a lot out of me this semester, but it paid off. I recieved an A in both of my second term classes! I was a little surprised that I did it in my criminal justice writing course, but I did! Not bad for my first semester back at school. Now I have a month off until the next load.
So lets get down to the updates :)
Boats is officially back on push. It totally blows, but I am actually dealing with it way better than I did previously. He is hardly here, and when he is, he is understandably exhausted. The best thing I can do it to keep the kids on as normal a routine as possible.
In saying that, I should share the news that I picked up a part time job! I have to say, it is probably the best job I've ever had! Haha :) I go in while Bubba is at school and most days I bring Bug with me. It's normally just me and the Boss Lady in the office, so it is very laid back, which is so me. I got very lucky to be connected with the opportunity through a mutual friend. With Boats being on push, it just works out so perfectly.
The kids are doing great! Getting excited for Christmas of course. Bug is blooming into this sweet and loving little lady that I am so lucky to have as a part of me. Bubba is learning through testing his boundaries, but I never let him forget how much I love him no matter how much trouble he is in, and it pays off. He is the sweetest kid I know! Blondie called me recently to tell me he got 100% on his spelling test! Oh how I cannot wait to be back in California so that I can actually be there to enjoy these triumphs with him. Hopefully we will have more answers in the coming weeks as to how soon that move will be. Still praying for March!!
Harley and Kadence are alive, haha! They both love to push push push, but I wouldn't trade them for the world. I am getting a little concerned with Kadence's aggression with Harley these days. Although it is fully warranted, the little shit put her through A LOT! She still takes it to another level sometimes. She has never really hurt him, but I still worry. Harley is so in love with the kids. He follows them around, watches TV with them, tries to comfort them if they are in trouble. He was truly the best thing that has happened to our family at the time he came into our lives and proves to be just as amazing every day. Even when he is screaming his head off on the leash. And ripping a hole through the carpet, lol. I love my Harley time in the mornings before the kids get up. I have my coffee and he comes up to get some snuggles. Such a great boy. I am actually very excited at the idea of getting another pup next year after we move. It will depend on where we live in CA though as to if we can have 3 dogs. I am hoping to train him for service as well as the potential new pup, but until they are actually service dogs they still count. But that's a worry for another day.
On to the more unpleasant but necessary stuff. Blogging has always been an outlet where I feel like I can better express some of my frustrations. A common frustration for me has been the people that call themselves friends around here. Never in my life have I ever experienced so many liars, back stabbers, or quite simply just awful and fake people. I am familiar with what 'fair weather friends' are... the ones that are no where to be found when you life is experiencing some turbulence. Here however, in this place you don't find many fair weather friends. That sounds great right? Ehhh... not so much. Where the fair weather ones are scarce, the fowl weather friends are in abundance. You know... those people that only come around when life seems bad for you simply so they can be 'in the know' and have an inside scoop on the pitfalls of your current situation. What I learned about these fowl weather friends though, is that this is a defense mechanism for them. Their lives are so ridiculously boring and unfulfilled, they have this insatiable need to be involved in the bad parts of the lives of others to make themselves feel better about their pathetic existence. Then there are the friends who you might think you have this great friendship with, and then all of a sudden you realize they see you as some sort of awful person but don't have the balls to say so. I can take crap like that from the ones I couldn't care less about. The boo hoo cry babies who get their feelings hurt when they are proven wrong on one subject or another. I keep certain people at a distance because I know that they will never be a constructive person in my life. Those are the disposable people. What I am talking about are the ones who you really thought you saw eye to eye on with a lot of things, or even if you didn't, there was still a mutual respect. Then to find out all this time they have been perched on a high horse looking down their nose as though they are so much better because they hide the true issues in their lives from everyone around them. That sounds much more like a coward to me.
Maybe I should be thankful that these people have quietly stepped out of my life. I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me, or confuse the hell out of me. What is important is that now I know and I can proceed accordingly. Wake up calls like that are never fun, but I just keep in mind that while they might feel smug now, their fall is much further down and it is immanent. People can have what ever opinion they want on my life, because I certainly have one about theirs and it is probably just as ugly.
So lets get down to the updates :)
Boats is officially back on push. It totally blows, but I am actually dealing with it way better than I did previously. He is hardly here, and when he is, he is understandably exhausted. The best thing I can do it to keep the kids on as normal a routine as possible.
In saying that, I should share the news that I picked up a part time job! I have to say, it is probably the best job I've ever had! Haha :) I go in while Bubba is at school and most days I bring Bug with me. It's normally just me and the Boss Lady in the office, so it is very laid back, which is so me. I got very lucky to be connected with the opportunity through a mutual friend. With Boats being on push, it just works out so perfectly.
The kids are doing great! Getting excited for Christmas of course. Bug is blooming into this sweet and loving little lady that I am so lucky to have as a part of me. Bubba is learning through testing his boundaries, but I never let him forget how much I love him no matter how much trouble he is in, and it pays off. He is the sweetest kid I know! Blondie called me recently to tell me he got 100% on his spelling test! Oh how I cannot wait to be back in California so that I can actually be there to enjoy these triumphs with him. Hopefully we will have more answers in the coming weeks as to how soon that move will be. Still praying for March!!
Harley and Kadence are alive, haha! They both love to push push push, but I wouldn't trade them for the world. I am getting a little concerned with Kadence's aggression with Harley these days. Although it is fully warranted, the little shit put her through A LOT! She still takes it to another level sometimes. She has never really hurt him, but I still worry. Harley is so in love with the kids. He follows them around, watches TV with them, tries to comfort them if they are in trouble. He was truly the best thing that has happened to our family at the time he came into our lives and proves to be just as amazing every day. Even when he is screaming his head off on the leash. And ripping a hole through the carpet, lol. I love my Harley time in the mornings before the kids get up. I have my coffee and he comes up to get some snuggles. Such a great boy. I am actually very excited at the idea of getting another pup next year after we move. It will depend on where we live in CA though as to if we can have 3 dogs. I am hoping to train him for service as well as the potential new pup, but until they are actually service dogs they still count. But that's a worry for another day.
On to the more unpleasant but necessary stuff. Blogging has always been an outlet where I feel like I can better express some of my frustrations. A common frustration for me has been the people that call themselves friends around here. Never in my life have I ever experienced so many liars, back stabbers, or quite simply just awful and fake people. I am familiar with what 'fair weather friends' are... the ones that are no where to be found when you life is experiencing some turbulence. Here however, in this place you don't find many fair weather friends. That sounds great right? Ehhh... not so much. Where the fair weather ones are scarce, the fowl weather friends are in abundance. You know... those people that only come around when life seems bad for you simply so they can be 'in the know' and have an inside scoop on the pitfalls of your current situation. What I learned about these fowl weather friends though, is that this is a defense mechanism for them. Their lives are so ridiculously boring and unfulfilled, they have this insatiable need to be involved in the bad parts of the lives of others to make themselves feel better about their pathetic existence. Then there are the friends who you might think you have this great friendship with, and then all of a sudden you realize they see you as some sort of awful person but don't have the balls to say so. I can take crap like that from the ones I couldn't care less about. The boo hoo cry babies who get their feelings hurt when they are proven wrong on one subject or another. I keep certain people at a distance because I know that they will never be a constructive person in my life. Those are the disposable people. What I am talking about are the ones who you really thought you saw eye to eye on with a lot of things, or even if you didn't, there was still a mutual respect. Then to find out all this time they have been perched on a high horse looking down their nose as though they are so much better because they hide the true issues in their lives from everyone around them. That sounds much more like a coward to me.
Maybe I should be thankful that these people have quietly stepped out of my life. I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me, or confuse the hell out of me. What is important is that now I know and I can proceed accordingly. Wake up calls like that are never fun, but I just keep in mind that while they might feel smug now, their fall is much further down and it is immanent. People can have what ever opinion they want on my life, because I certainly have one about theirs and it is probably just as ugly.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
30 DBC: Day 29♥
3 wishes:
Isnt this one of those questions we ask ourselves all the time? If we had a magic genie and had 3 wishes, what would we wish for?
Honestly, the first thing that comes to mind is that my parents would find some sort of peace in life. The last few years they have had, have been rather rough. If they could just find some peace, they could enjoy life as it is meant to be. They could find it in Christ, but that will take time to work its way into their hearts, but all things are possible.
Secondly, I wish that I could take back all the time I have missed with Nathin over the last 3 years. I know he is young, but that makes it one of the most important times of his life. He needs his mom around, and I can't wait to be there for him again next year.
Lastly, I would wish that my kids get a chance to live long, healthy and Christ driven lives. That they get that rare opportunity to understand what their life is meant for in this world and that they listen to the callings in their hearts. I also hope they know that no matter what, we will always be there for them. Me, Boats, and Nathin's father as well. That they always know just how loved they truly are.
Isnt this one of those questions we ask ourselves all the time? If we had a magic genie and had 3 wishes, what would we wish for?
Honestly, the first thing that comes to mind is that my parents would find some sort of peace in life. The last few years they have had, have been rather rough. If they could just find some peace, they could enjoy life as it is meant to be. They could find it in Christ, but that will take time to work its way into their hearts, but all things are possible.
Secondly, I wish that I could take back all the time I have missed with Nathin over the last 3 years. I know he is young, but that makes it one of the most important times of his life. He needs his mom around, and I can't wait to be there for him again next year.
Lastly, I would wish that my kids get a chance to live long, healthy and Christ driven lives. That they get that rare opportunity to understand what their life is meant for in this world and that they listen to the callings in their hearts. I also hope they know that no matter what, we will always be there for them. Me, Boats, and Nathin's father as well. That they always know just how loved they truly are.
Monday, November 22, 2010
30 DBC: Day 28♥
Something that stresses me out: I think there are probably a lot of things that stress me out.
Kids.
Dogs.
Husband.
Time.
House work.
WEIGHT.
School work.
Lots of things. Of course there is always one thing that seems to do it more than anything else. It really is the one thing I should worry about the least, but I can't help it. I'm pretty confident its a stress factor for most people actually. My biggest stress factor...
Green. Benjamin's. Cheddar. Dough. Beacon. Cheese. The root of all evil... MONEY.
Kids.
Dogs.
Husband.
Time.
House work.
WEIGHT.
School work.
Lots of things. Of course there is always one thing that seems to do it more than anything else. It really is the one thing I should worry about the least, but I can't help it. I'm pretty confident its a stress factor for most people actually. My biggest stress factor...
Green. Benjamin's. Cheddar. Dough. Beacon. Cheese. The root of all evil... MONEY.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
30 DBC: Day 27♥
My pets♥
First came Dash... the pain in the ass cat that I co-exist with. Im not a cat person, lol.
Then there is my girl... Kadence! My 3 year old Mantle Great Dane :)
And of course, my guy! Harley has given me a run for my money, and yet I love him like crazy! This was taken today at 14 weeks, and 40.5 pounds :)
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
30 DBC: Day 25♥
Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs:
1. Lifehouse: Everything
2. Nelly Furtado and Keith Urban: In Gods Hands
3. Breaking Benjamen: I Will Not Bow
4. BOB: Airplane
5. Rihanna: Unfaithful
6. Christina Perri: Jar of Hearts
7. Hillsong: Saving Grace
8. Hawk Nelson: Everything You Wanted
9. Garth Brooks: It's Midnight Cinderella
10. Bruno Mars: Grenade
2. Nelly Furtado and Keith Urban: In Gods Hands
3. Breaking Benjamen: I Will Not Bow
4. BOB: Airplane
5. Rihanna: Unfaithful
6. Christina Perri: Jar of Hearts
7. Hillsong: Saving Grace
8. Hawk Nelson: Everything You Wanted
9. Garth Brooks: It's Midnight Cinderella
10. Bruno Mars: Grenade
After that... at Bug's request I had to play 'The Robot Song'. (AKA, Ke$ha's Take It Off)
Thursday, November 18, 2010
30 DBC: Day 24♥
Something I've learned:
I have learned a lot of things over the course of my life thus far, of course. But I would have to say that the most valuable lesson I have ever learned is the one of unconditional love. To be brutally honest, we will never have unconditional love from our spouses. That's just a fact. We do, however, get it from our children, and for me personally, I have received it from my dogs as well. They are these innocent souls, kids and dogs. They don't care if we dress to the 9's, if we don't vacuum every single day, if we forget to put the trash out on trash day. They just love us. I have learned that it is infinitely easy to return that unconditional love to them.
I have learned a lot of things over the course of my life thus far, of course. But I would have to say that the most valuable lesson I have ever learned is the one of unconditional love. To be brutally honest, we will never have unconditional love from our spouses. That's just a fact. We do, however, get it from our children, and for me personally, I have received it from my dogs as well. They are these innocent souls, kids and dogs. They don't care if we dress to the 9's, if we don't vacuum every single day, if we forget to put the trash out on trash day. They just love us. I have learned that it is infinitely easy to return that unconditional love to them.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
30 DBC: Day 23♥
Favorite vacation: I have never really been on a true 'vacation'. I feel like if the kids went with... its not a vacation! We never went on a honeymoon or anything... so yea. Maybe that needs to be on my list to Santa :)
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
30 DBC: Day 21♥
Day 21-Picture of yourself
Sooooo, I can be a little vein. Shocking, I know. It's not that I think I am hot or amazingly beautiful or anything. Not in real life anyway. But sometimes a picture can capture just the very best features. Even when I receive compliments from people I care about, and who care about me, I don't really take it to heart. I just assume they are saying it because they love me and want to make me feel good. When I hear something nice from a stranger or someone I don't know very well yet, I assume they want something from me, lol. Awful, right? Anyhow... here is what the post is actually asking for...
So the one in the Cammies is very cropped, lol. These were a part of the photo shoot I did a couple weeks ago now and there is some booty showage in that one, lol. Most of the photos I left raw and didn't 'touch up' because you can see my mommy marks, and that not something I want to cover up necessarily. They used to bother me, but now I embrace them, and I think every mom should! Some women do get them after having kids, and yes, I will silently hate you (lol) but the majority of us get them, and its nothing to be ashamed of! I tell me kids that they tell the story of how they came into this world. While I don't 'love' the marks... I love what they mean.
Sooooo, I can be a little vein. Shocking, I know. It's not that I think I am hot or amazingly beautiful or anything. Not in real life anyway. But sometimes a picture can capture just the very best features. Even when I receive compliments from people I care about, and who care about me, I don't really take it to heart. I just assume they are saying it because they love me and want to make me feel good. When I hear something nice from a stranger or someone I don't know very well yet, I assume they want something from me, lol. Awful, right? Anyhow... here is what the post is actually asking for...
So the one in the Cammies is very cropped, lol. These were a part of the photo shoot I did a couple weeks ago now and there is some booty showage in that one, lol. Most of the photos I left raw and didn't 'touch up' because you can see my mommy marks, and that not something I want to cover up necessarily. They used to bother me, but now I embrace them, and I think every mom should! Some women do get them after having kids, and yes, I will silently hate you (lol) but the majority of us get them, and its nothing to be ashamed of! I tell me kids that they tell the story of how they came into this world. While I don't 'love' the marks... I love what they mean.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
30 DBC: Day 20♥
Day 20-Nicknames
I don't really have nicknames anymore. I get the occasional 'Smashleigh' haha. Most of my nicknames are from my child hood. My parents would call me Taz a lot, because I was wild like the Tasmanian devil, lol. I also got Lizzy, or Lizbeth since my middle name is Elizabeth. Other than 'Babe' and other pet names from the husband, I pretty much just go by my given name :)
I don't really have nicknames anymore. I get the occasional 'Smashleigh' haha. Most of my nicknames are from my child hood. My parents would call me Taz a lot, because I was wild like the Tasmanian devil, lol. I also got Lizzy, or Lizbeth since my middle name is Elizabeth. Other than 'Babe' and other pet names from the husband, I pretty much just go by my given name :)
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Friday, November 12, 2010
30 DBC: Day 18♥
Day 18-Something you regret
There is not much I regret in my life. All the decisions I have made, I felt were right at the time. I don't usually apologize for my decisions, unless it has hurt someone I care about in some way. Too many people say and do things with the thought process that all they have to do is apologize to 'make up for it', and I pride myself in making choices I can live with.
The one thing I can say there is some regret on, would be that I waited too long to begin my walk with Christ. I felt the 'tugging' years ago, but I refused to explore it because my husband didn't also feel the tugging. I didn't go back to church until he decided he wanted to, and that is one thing I do regret.
There is not much I regret in my life. All the decisions I have made, I felt were right at the time. I don't usually apologize for my decisions, unless it has hurt someone I care about in some way. Too many people say and do things with the thought process that all they have to do is apologize to 'make up for it', and I pride myself in making choices I can live with.
The one thing I can say there is some regret on, would be that I waited too long to begin my walk with Christ. I felt the 'tugging' years ago, but I refused to explore it because my husband didn't also feel the tugging. I didn't go back to church until he decided he wanted to, and that is one thing I do regret.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
30 DBC: Day 17♥
Something you're looking forward to:
I can take this so many ways... so perhaps listing it will be the best approach :)
I am looking forward to getting back to California and being with my son again.
...to snowy days spent snuggle up with the kids watching movies and staying in our jammies all day, and savoring the moments I know will pass too soon.
...to rebuilding the marriage I know in my heart is worth fighting for, even though I feel overwhelmed with doubt, regret, jealousy and pessimism at times.
...to the day that Harley wont scream bloody murder when I take him for a walk!!
...to earning my degree and starting a career that will improve the lives of others.
...to being that phone call. You know, just the random phone call from your adult child who know has a family of their own. The one in which they tell you that NOW they understand and how they appreciate the life they were given. And the ones in which they admit they still need me, almost as much as I will always need them.
...to making memories with friends who are as planted in my heart as flesh and blood family.
...to just finding out what this path is that God has laid out before me and how He is going to use me to glorify Him.
...to finding me. The real me. A me that I can love and be so proud of, and that my family and friends can be just as proud.
...to earning my title of being a daughter of the Lord, seeing as how most days, I do not feel worthy of that.
...to making a difference in the lives of others.
I can take this so many ways... so perhaps listing it will be the best approach :)
I am looking forward to getting back to California and being with my son again.
...to snowy days spent snuggle up with the kids watching movies and staying in our jammies all day, and savoring the moments I know will pass too soon.
...to rebuilding the marriage I know in my heart is worth fighting for, even though I feel overwhelmed with doubt, regret, jealousy and pessimism at times.
...to the day that Harley wont scream bloody murder when I take him for a walk!!
...to earning my degree and starting a career that will improve the lives of others.
...to being that phone call. You know, just the random phone call from your adult child who know has a family of their own. The one in which they tell you that NOW they understand and how they appreciate the life they were given. And the ones in which they admit they still need me, almost as much as I will always need them.
...to making memories with friends who are as planted in my heart as flesh and blood family.
...to just finding out what this path is that God has laid out before me and how He is going to use me to glorify Him.
...to finding me. The real me. A me that I can love and be so proud of, and that my family and friends can be just as proud.
...to earning my title of being a daughter of the Lord, seeing as how most days, I do not feel worthy of that.
...to making a difference in the lives of others.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
30 DBC: Day 16♥
Dream house: I actually think I might have seen my dream house when we went on a field trip with Chase's school last week. I want a house that has a huge front porch that wraps around the whole house. It will have a porch swing in the front and back. There will be great big trees in the yard that hold a tire swing and provide shade for the dogs to lounge in and for a picnic table.
There will be a lot of windows. I love natural light. I'm not too particular on color, although I do love the look of a rich blue or hunter green with white trim and shutters. The garage will be detached so Boats can tinker around and not invade my sound waves. A great big tree house and doll house for the kids and/or grandkids would be necessary as well. Preferably, the house would be located along a tree line in a wooded rural country type neighborhood. A little distance between houses, but not so much that I feel secluded.
We will definitely have a few chickens, because I love fresh eggs. Most of our vegetables will be grown right there in our own yard, as well as some fruits. Out back will be a fire pit that will be the center of a lot of amazing memories. Perhaps a hammock or two.
As far as the inside goes, as long as I have a large kitchen and a wood burning fireplace, anything else is workable for me. Although, an eat in kitchen with a breakfast bar would be nice. Our master bedroom should be big enough to build a half wall as a partition for where the dogs will sleep. After all, I have to keep them from laying all over my dry clean only comforter! *cough cough KADENCE!! cough*
At the end of the day, I would live in a cardboard box as long as I have my family. But lets face it, we all dream :) The following pictures are of three houses that I love, and would like to blend together to make my dream home from.
There will be a lot of windows. I love natural light. I'm not too particular on color, although I do love the look of a rich blue or hunter green with white trim and shutters. The garage will be detached so Boats can tinker around and not invade my sound waves. A great big tree house and doll house for the kids and/or grandkids would be necessary as well. Preferably, the house would be located along a tree line in a wooded rural country type neighborhood. A little distance between houses, but not so much that I feel secluded.
We will definitely have a few chickens, because I love fresh eggs. Most of our vegetables will be grown right there in our own yard, as well as some fruits. Out back will be a fire pit that will be the center of a lot of amazing memories. Perhaps a hammock or two.
As far as the inside goes, as long as I have a large kitchen and a wood burning fireplace, anything else is workable for me. Although, an eat in kitchen with a breakfast bar would be nice. Our master bedroom should be big enough to build a half wall as a partition for where the dogs will sleep. After all, I have to keep them from laying all over my dry clean only comforter! *cough cough KADENCE!! cough*
At the end of the day, I would live in a cardboard box as long as I have my family. But lets face it, we all dream :) The following pictures are of three houses that I love, and would like to blend together to make my dream home from.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
30 DBG: Day 15♥
Bible verse: This one is pretty easy. Although I was torn between the Corinthians verse I have on my shoulder and this one... I think the one I chose holds a lot more for me right now :) This verse has been instrumental in the rebuilding of my marriage.
One of the best tools I found in this book was the 'Crazy Cycle'. I can recognize now when we are on it, and we can stop and reassess what we are actually upset about and address the real issue while still showing each other love and respect.
♥ Me.
Ephesians 5:22-33 (New International Version)
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Ok, so its more than just one verse... but you need the whole thing to get the idea :) The book Love and Respect is based on this verse and how we can apply it to our marriage. I definitely recommend it for all married couples, not just those in peril.
One of the best tools I found in this book was the 'Crazy Cycle'. I can recognize now when we are on it, and we can stop and reassess what we are actually upset about and address the real issue while still showing each other love and respect.
♥ Me.
Monday, November 8, 2010
30 DBG: Day 14♥
Picture you love.
Again... just ONE?? Talk about impossibility! I am a self-proclaimed picture snob, and I take pictures like nobody's business. I guess if I have to choose just one recent favorite... it would be this one:
We recently did a photo shoot with a friend who got some amazing shots of me and Boats together, as well as just me and some also with my friend Erin. They are really too 'hot' to post all here, even though I'd love to! So this is just one that I totally love.
Again... just ONE?? Talk about impossibility! I am a self-proclaimed picture snob, and I take pictures like nobody's business. I guess if I have to choose just one recent favorite... it would be this one:
We recently did a photo shoot with a friend who got some amazing shots of me and Boats together, as well as just me and some also with my friend Erin. They are really too 'hot' to post all here, even though I'd love to! So this is just one that I totally love.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
30 DBC: Day 13♥
Todays post is about my goals. I am taking it to mean more of the long term type of goals. If it were short term, Id start with something like cleaning out the kids rooms or something :) My first and main goal its to develop and maintain my relationship with God. I was watching a Carlos Mencia show today, and there was a joke in there that just about killed me from laughing but it was SO true! He had made some crude joke about the Pope (it was funny, but I wont repeat it, lol) and someone boo'd him. After that he told the person who boo'd him that at least he knows his religion well enough to know that as a Christian, no matter what he does, all he has to do is pray to the Lord and he is forgiven. Its like an etch-a-sketch! I need to find that clip and post it... it was too funny.
Next on the goal list is to be the best wife and mom I can be. If that means housework, fine. If it means saying screw the housework, lets go outside and play in the rain, I'm good with that too. If that means flipping the bird to anyone and EVERYone who looks down their nose and me and my husband because we are now putting blood, sweat and tears into fixing our marriage, then I'm all for that as well. Whatever it means...
My education is my next goal. I was my children to see and understand that an education is a must, no matter what you plan to do in life. I gave myself a time line a long time ago on how long I would be a stay at home mom. That time is coming to an end in a few years, and I need an education under my belt to give me the most opportunities. If knowing in my heart that taking on a job outside of my home is what is best for my family makes me some sort of bad mother to other people, refer to the bird flipping above. As long as my children know I love them and would do anything for their happiness, the perception of others really doesn't matter to me at the end of the day.
This last one has sort of been a work in progress for a while. I want to run. I want to have that drive and that need to run for miles and miles. My New Years resolution this year is going to be a big one... but its definetly do-able.
♥ Me
Next on the goal list is to be the best wife and mom I can be. If that means housework, fine. If it means saying screw the housework, lets go outside and play in the rain, I'm good with that too. If that means flipping the bird to anyone and EVERYone who looks down their nose and me and my husband because we are now putting blood, sweat and tears into fixing our marriage, then I'm all for that as well. Whatever it means...
My education is my next goal. I was my children to see and understand that an education is a must, no matter what you plan to do in life. I gave myself a time line a long time ago on how long I would be a stay at home mom. That time is coming to an end in a few years, and I need an education under my belt to give me the most opportunities. If knowing in my heart that taking on a job outside of my home is what is best for my family makes me some sort of bad mother to other people, refer to the bird flipping above. As long as my children know I love them and would do anything for their happiness, the perception of others really doesn't matter to me at the end of the day.
This last one has sort of been a work in progress for a while. I want to run. I want to have that drive and that need to run for miles and miles. My New Years resolution this year is going to be a big one... but its definetly do-able.
♥ Me
Saturday, November 6, 2010
30 DBG: Day 12♥
What you believe.
Boy, if that's not a 'loaded question', I dont know what is! How do you even begin to answer that? I suppose the first thing that comes to mind, is that I believe that the God in my heart loves me, just as He says, no matter what. It doesn't matter how many times I drop the ball, He keeps on loving me. I also believe that there is nothing more important in my life, next to my continually growing relationship with Christ, than my family. My children are my life, and the things I do with and for them everyday will have a profound impact on their life and who they will become. While I can't 'make' them into anything, I can give them the tools to hopefully become children who love God and respect me and others. Who have loving and open hearts, and who aches for the betterment of the lives of others. That kind of development begins now, at home with me.
I also believe, that no matter what, there is nothing two people cannot overcome if they want it bad enough. The past can be left in the past. Forgiveness can be given and received, no matter how deep the wounds. Love truly does 'bare all things, hope all things, believe all things.' I believe the Word of God holds more wisdom and love than I could ever possibly hold in my heart. If I ever need proof of that... I just seek out my husband, and see the love in his eyes that was once said to be gone. I see, and feel, it again.
Everyday.
I believe in miracles.
♥
Boy, if that's not a 'loaded question', I dont know what is! How do you even begin to answer that? I suppose the first thing that comes to mind, is that I believe that the God in my heart loves me, just as He says, no matter what. It doesn't matter how many times I drop the ball, He keeps on loving me. I also believe that there is nothing more important in my life, next to my continually growing relationship with Christ, than my family. My children are my life, and the things I do with and for them everyday will have a profound impact on their life and who they will become. While I can't 'make' them into anything, I can give them the tools to hopefully become children who love God and respect me and others. Who have loving and open hearts, and who aches for the betterment of the lives of others. That kind of development begins now, at home with me.
I also believe, that no matter what, there is nothing two people cannot overcome if they want it bad enough. The past can be left in the past. Forgiveness can be given and received, no matter how deep the wounds. Love truly does 'bare all things, hope all things, believe all things.' I believe the Word of God holds more wisdom and love than I could ever possibly hold in my heart. If I ever need proof of that... I just seek out my husband, and see the love in his eyes that was once said to be gone. I see, and feel, it again.
Everyday.
I believe in miracles.
♥
Friday, November 5, 2010
30 DBG: Day 11♥
Favorite TV shows:
Reality TV is such a guilty pleasure. I'm happy to say that there aren't any that I am 'addicted' to, but there are a few other shows that I love to watch when I can remember they are on, lol. First would be Sons of Anarchy! I don't know what it is about it, but I have been hooked since the first season.
Recently I have become an avid watcher of Criminal Minds. I don't usually watch the 'new' episodes, but anytime I see the older ones on, that's what I watch. Since I just got into it this year, most episodes I have not seen. As scared as it can make me (an seriously, this show is the reason why I know want to own a gun.) I still love it!
Having kids in the house forces me to watch a lot of kid shows. Some I cant STAND. Others I tolerate. However, Dinosaur Train is one I honestly enjoy! It has really catchy songs and the kids love it. I actually like Imagination Movers and Fresh Beat Band too... those are Grace's favorites!
♥ Me
Reality TV is such a guilty pleasure. I'm happy to say that there aren't any that I am 'addicted' to, but there are a few other shows that I love to watch when I can remember they are on, lol. First would be Sons of Anarchy! I don't know what it is about it, but I have been hooked since the first season.
Recently I have become an avid watcher of Criminal Minds. I don't usually watch the 'new' episodes, but anytime I see the older ones on, that's what I watch. Since I just got into it this year, most episodes I have not seen. As scared as it can make me (an seriously, this show is the reason why I know want to own a gun.) I still love it!
Having kids in the house forces me to watch a lot of kid shows. Some I cant STAND. Others I tolerate. However, Dinosaur Train is one I honestly enjoy! It has really catchy songs and the kids love it. I actually like Imagination Movers and Fresh Beat Band too... those are Grace's favorites!
♥ Me
Thursday, November 4, 2010
30 DBG: Day 10♥
Something your afraid of:
There are some obvious answers to this one. Most of my friends and family know of my bug phobia, lol. Especially spiders. I have gotten better living in the midwest, but still... spiders are a hard thing for me to deal with!
After spiders is totally clowns!! BLEK! I cant even think about clowns... seriously. Moving on.
The next one is one I am sure many people fear. Loneliness. I don't know if it's the actual idea of being alone or on my own that scares me the most, or if its the thought if loosing what I already have. No matter what, its a thought that scares me to death.
My biggest fear in my life, is that something will happen to one of my children. Not just that 'something will happen' but that they will be taken from this Earth before me. I know that sounds selfish, but I can't even begin to thing about how I would be able to physically breath knowing this world existed without them. My chest feels like it is caving in just thinking about it.
We all fear something. We can hide inside a little shell and watch life pass us by, or we can put our faith in the hands of our Lord and know that His plan is perfect. No matter what that could mean. We never know our strength until we are faced with a fear, and its how we adapt that makes us who we are.
♥Me
There are some obvious answers to this one. Most of my friends and family know of my bug phobia, lol. Especially spiders. I have gotten better living in the midwest, but still... spiders are a hard thing for me to deal with!
After spiders is totally clowns!! BLEK! I cant even think about clowns... seriously. Moving on.
The next one is one I am sure many people fear. Loneliness. I don't know if it's the actual idea of being alone or on my own that scares me the most, or if its the thought if loosing what I already have. No matter what, its a thought that scares me to death.
My biggest fear in my life, is that something will happen to one of my children. Not just that 'something will happen' but that they will be taken from this Earth before me. I know that sounds selfish, but I can't even begin to thing about how I would be able to physically breath knowing this world existed without them. My chest feels like it is caving in just thinking about it.
We all fear something. We can hide inside a little shell and watch life pass us by, or we can put our faith in the hands of our Lord and know that His plan is perfect. No matter what that could mean. We never know our strength until we are faced with a fear, and its how we adapt that makes us who we are.♥Me
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
30 DBC: Day 9♥
A picture of your friends... just one?? Not a chance. My friends are my family and I have tons of pictures... here are just a few I managed to locate :)
Me and Shayna out bowling :)
So I wish I could explain with proper justice to the situation, how hilarious this photo is! This is my friend Amber's husband, Jason, and my friend Kim in a HEATED political debate in Ambers hospital room right after she GAVE BIRTH to their second daughter!! I love this picture for many reasons. Mostly because Jason is a great spokesman for republicans (the ones who are right of course) and I love Kim to death because boy can she keep up!!
Me and my bestie out for a night in good ol' Chi-Town!
Erin and I right after our piercing experience together!
Me and Shayna out bowling :)
So I wish I could explain with proper justice to the situation, how hilarious this photo is! This is my friend Amber's husband, Jason, and my friend Kim in a HEATED political debate in Ambers hospital room right after she GAVE BIRTH to their second daughter!! I love this picture for many reasons. Mostly because Jason is a great spokesman for republicans (the ones who are right of course) and I love Kim to death because boy can she keep up!!
Me and my bestie out for a night in good ol' Chi-Town!
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
30 DBG: Day 8♥
A place I have traveled...
This is a really hard one because I really haven't 'traveled' really. Sad, right? I have been here and there around the country. Kentucky to see my sister. Wisconsin for Mindy and Boat's family. Washington when my dad was stationed there. Michigan to pick up Harley. Vegas a few times, but never really in the fun way people go to Vegas. So yea... this day of blogging kinda blows, LOL. Sorry! :)
♥Me
This is a really hard one because I really haven't 'traveled' really. Sad, right? I have been here and there around the country. Kentucky to see my sister. Wisconsin for Mindy and Boat's family. Washington when my dad was stationed there. Michigan to pick up Harley. Vegas a few times, but never really in the fun way people go to Vegas. So yea... this day of blogging kinda blows, LOL. Sorry! :)
♥Me
Monday, November 1, 2010
30 DBC: Day 7♥
*Favorite Movie*
I think this one is a little harder than at first glance. I have a lot of faves and narrowing it down is pretty tough. A while back, my answer would have been Romeo and Juliet... the one with Leonardo DiCaprio... I loved that movie. Part of me wants to say the Twilight Saga. Ok, a lot of me says that. Maybe I should break it down by category.
Romantic Comedy: The Ugly Truth
Love Story: The Notebook
Comedy: Ace Ventura Pet Detective
Horror: Anything with 'jump out' kind of scares... not the bloody stuff.
I think that covers the four main categories. Movies are a great escape from reality and gives time for just a release of all the tensions we hold on to most of the time.
What are your favorites?
♥Me
I think this one is a little harder than at first glance. I have a lot of faves and narrowing it down is pretty tough. A while back, my answer would have been Romeo and Juliet... the one with Leonardo DiCaprio... I loved that movie. Part of me wants to say the Twilight Saga. Ok, a lot of me says that. Maybe I should break it down by category.
Romantic Comedy: The Ugly Truth
Love Story: The Notebook
Comedy: Ace Ventura Pet Detective
Horror: Anything with 'jump out' kind of scares... not the bloody stuff.
I think that covers the four main categories. Movies are a great escape from reality and gives time for just a release of all the tensions we hold on to most of the time.
What are your favorites?
♥Me
Sunday, October 31, 2010
30 DBC: Day 6♥
This has to be the easiest day for the challenge so far! There are of course a lot of things that make me happy. It might be best to start with a small list of everything except for my number one... I'll save that for last!
Jesus Christ
Running
Coffee (only with MY creamer!)
Cooking
Blogging
Puppy breath
Tattoos
Music
Shopping
Hot showers (in peace)
Sunshine
...seriously this could be endless. Lets just get to the goods! The one thing in this world that makes me happy more than anything else...
Jesus Christ
Running
Coffee (only with MY creamer!)
Cooking
Blogging
Puppy breath
Tattoos
Music
Shopping
Hot showers (in peace)
Sunshine
My family!!
(my husband, my children and my dogs)
(my husband, my children and my dogs)
Saturday, October 30, 2010
30 DBC: Day 5♥
I am the second to the youngest of 5 kids. I have two older brothers, an older sister and a younger sister. There is a decent age gap in us all. The older 4 of us have about 3-4 years between each of us, and there are 9 years between me and my younger sister. I wish I had a current picture of all of us together, but sadly, I dont. We all live far apart and we are never all in the same place at once anymore.
Stephanie, the oldest (but coolest) lives in Kentucky with her family. She has two awesome kids who have seriously grown up WAY too dang fast and I hate that I have missed pretty much all of it. My nephew is off to college next year.
*sigh*
How did that happen?? Anyway, Todd is next who has got to be the luckiest out of all of us. He managed to land and amazing wife and they just welcomed their 3rd blessing into the world, their first baby girl.
Cameron... what can I say about Cameron? He is the closest in age to me, so growing up he was the one I clung to the most. This is the brother who got into a fight at the playground because some kid made the comment that my hair must have been bleached. Haha! He has always been like the protector. At least for me! He has 3 great kids who have just the most amazing hearts of any kids I know.
My little sister Courtneay is 9 years younger than me. She is the baby of the family in every sense of the word! Even though she has had a rough few years in coming into her own and learning about life, I am hopeful that it is just the road to great things for her.
I wouldn't say that any of us are extremely close to one another, but we do all love each other very much, and there is nothing we wouldn't do for the others. Life has set us all on very different paths and we have grown into such different people despite being raised in the same house. But if we were all the same... how boring would that be??
♥ Me
Stephanie, the oldest (but coolest) lives in Kentucky with her family. She has two awesome kids who have seriously grown up WAY too dang fast and I hate that I have missed pretty much all of it. My nephew is off to college next year.
*sigh*
How did that happen?? Anyway, Todd is next who has got to be the luckiest out of all of us. He managed to land and amazing wife and they just welcomed their 3rd blessing into the world, their first baby girl.
Cameron... what can I say about Cameron? He is the closest in age to me, so growing up he was the one I clung to the most. This is the brother who got into a fight at the playground because some kid made the comment that my hair must have been bleached. Haha! He has always been like the protector. At least for me! He has 3 great kids who have just the most amazing hearts of any kids I know.
My little sister Courtneay is 9 years younger than me. She is the baby of the family in every sense of the word! Even though she has had a rough few years in coming into her own and learning about life, I am hopeful that it is just the road to great things for her.
I wouldn't say that any of us are extremely close to one another, but we do all love each other very much, and there is nothing we wouldn't do for the others. Life has set us all on very different paths and we have grown into such different people despite being raised in the same house. But if we were all the same... how boring would that be??
♥ Me
Friday, October 29, 2010
30DBG: Day 4♥
My parents are truly the mold that I came from. I see bits and pieces of them in me everyday. Some pieces that I swore I'd never get! Haha :) Growing up, my dad was in the Navy so there were times that he would be gone, and I wouldn't say that we had a lavish lifestyle, but I was never really wanting for anything. Everything I needed was always provided for me, even if it meant they went without. They sacrificed so much for me (and my siblings) and I only hope that I can do the same for my kids. Mom is the one I can talk to about anything, and Dad is the one I can always lean on without saying a word.
♥
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Thursday, October 28, 2010
30DBC: Day3♥
My first love... well that's an easy one. The first time I met him, there were a lot of other people around. He was yelling and I could barely hear anything over the commotion, but I swear I could hear my heart rate go up when he looked in my eyes. So many other women that were in the room were trying to get his attention, but it was to no avail. My hands were sweating and I couldn't even find the right words to utter as he got closer to me. When he got close enough, I took him into my arms and breathed in his smell. He smelled like heaven. He wasn't screaming anymore. The whole room got quiet. Or at least all the sound was drowned out by the deafening sound of his heart getting in sync with mine. These perfect lips, this amazingly soft skin, that blonde hair... it was all mine. All a part of me, now also a part of this world. It was love at first sight. Other than my dad, he was the first boy to ever steal my heart. He is still just as perfect today. My guy on the day we met...
And him now...
He will always have claim to the first guy in my heart.
♥ Me
And him now...
He will always have claim to the first guy in my heart.♥ Me
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
30DBC: Day 2♥
Day two is based on a topic I have already blogged about :) You can read the full version here, or you can stay for the shorter version.
'That Tattooed Girl' is just another piece of who I am. I love my tattoos, getting new ones, seeing other peoples... I just think they are amazing pieces of art, when done right that is. There are times in our lives when we always feel judged. You know what I mean. Its like when you take your kid out to dinner with you, and they are being a holy terror and you are sure he is possessed. You can feel all eyes on you. Or how about when we have a few extra pounds on our frame, and we are driving along in the car trying to get as much of that Butterburger and Cheese Curds in our mouths! Haha...Ive SO been there!! You can just feel other drivers looking at you. Those are occasional occurrences though. For me, its anytime my tattoos are exposed, which is more often than not.
I very specifically made the choice to have my tattoos in places that they can be seen not just by me, but by others. They actually mean something to me, so why hide them? I have a verse from 1Corinthians on my left shoulder blade, and it drives me nuts that I cant see it really. Sometimes people are so taken back by the amount and size of my tattoos, I get one of two responses. They either want to know how many I have (which is a tricky question to answer, so I just stick with my hours which is about 23 or so) or they don't want to be within a 3 foot radius of me and refuse eye contact. Either way is up to them.
I really love the response I get from most children. They are so pure and honest. I've had them call my tattoos stamps, or colorings, or doodles. Ive had kids try to clean them off, haha! I've had kids sit in my lap for an hour and just inspect every inch of ink with those amazingly curious eyes. They don't judge me, or think I'm some awful person like a lot of adults do.
So the point of my blog title is that if you don't care to show me enough respect to ask me my name, you simple shun me and refer to me as 'that tattooed girl', because surely everyone will understand who you are talking about, then you don't deserve to know my name anyway. Simple as that!
Now time to get Bubba off to school... its just him and me this week while Boats and Bug are out of town visiting his mother. I did 30 day shred this morning, and I'm already feeling it. Bleck! Have a great Thursday!
[I'll be adding some pictures later!]
♥Me
'That Tattooed Girl' is just another piece of who I am. I love my tattoos, getting new ones, seeing other peoples... I just think they are amazing pieces of art, when done right that is. There are times in our lives when we always feel judged. You know what I mean. Its like when you take your kid out to dinner with you, and they are being a holy terror and you are sure he is possessed. You can feel all eyes on you. Or how about when we have a few extra pounds on our frame, and we are driving along in the car trying to get as much of that Butterburger and Cheese Curds in our mouths! Haha...Ive SO been there!! You can just feel other drivers looking at you. Those are occasional occurrences though. For me, its anytime my tattoos are exposed, which is more often than not.
I very specifically made the choice to have my tattoos in places that they can be seen not just by me, but by others. They actually mean something to me, so why hide them? I have a verse from 1Corinthians on my left shoulder blade, and it drives me nuts that I cant see it really. Sometimes people are so taken back by the amount and size of my tattoos, I get one of two responses. They either want to know how many I have (which is a tricky question to answer, so I just stick with my hours which is about 23 or so) or they don't want to be within a 3 foot radius of me and refuse eye contact. Either way is up to them.
I really love the response I get from most children. They are so pure and honest. I've had them call my tattoos stamps, or colorings, or doodles. Ive had kids try to clean them off, haha! I've had kids sit in my lap for an hour and just inspect every inch of ink with those amazingly curious eyes. They don't judge me, or think I'm some awful person like a lot of adults do.
So the point of my blog title is that if you don't care to show me enough respect to ask me my name, you simple shun me and refer to me as 'that tattooed girl', because surely everyone will understand who you are talking about, then you don't deserve to know my name anyway. Simple as that!
Now time to get Bubba off to school... its just him and me this week while Boats and Bug are out of town visiting his mother. I did 30 day shred this morning, and I'm already feeling it. Bleck! Have a great Thursday!
[I'll be adding some pictures later!]
♥Me
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
30DBC: Day 1♥
Here I am! Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world. Oh wait... wrong theme song. {grin} I used to know exactly who this girl is, but I have recently lost bits and pieces of her. I'm doing my best to put myself back together, and yet I can't say that there is much I would change about how I got here. I believe everything happens for a reason, and all the scars I carry with me now, inward and outward, have all been strategically placed with careful consideration and purpose. I don't always know the reasons at the time, but that's ok. So, that being said, lets move on to the 15 facts about me!
1. My children are my reason for breathing.
2. I really do consider my dogs to be my children.
3. Sometimes, my temper gets the best of me.
4. I am a Christian who is still finding my way to Christ. While I have accepted Him as my Savior, many things have tried to get me off track, and questions and doubt still arise at times.
5. Over the last year, I have gotten myself into better physical shape, and yet it doesn't help me now with the massive blow my self-esteem has taken.
6. Tattoos are an artistic expression and a release for me.
7. I jam out to my music while I run. I'm talkin' hands raised, drumming, air guitar... all of the above.
8. My mom is my best friend. Our relationship in my youth wasn't the best, but I thank God for her everyday. She is a huge source of my strength.
9. When I am feeling weak, I kneel in prayer.
10. I used to pride myself in my tough outer skin, which has been ripped away, leaving me vulnerable. But I am learning to embrace these new emotions I refused to let myself feel before.
11. There is something very purifying about writing that helps me purge all the ick I hold onto.
12. Once I learn someones name, I will probably remember it forever.
13. This year, I began going back to school for Criminal Justice.
14. I already know what my major New Years resolution will be.
15. I can be selfish and intolerable, but I'm ok with that.
That's all folks! Are you challenging yourself?
♥ Me.
30 Day Blog Challenge ♥
I have honestly been avoiding blogging.
Tragic, right?
Well, with the madness in my life lately, I haven't had much I have really wanted to blog about.
And yet, I miss it.
While on Facebook, I noticed my friend Tiffany at Growing Dreams has made a few posts on this 30 Day Blog Challenge. It looks like a lot of fun, and a great little distraction. The original blog came from Katie at Katie's Journey which is where I got this following list of blog topics for the next 30 days:
I love Tiffany's method of having a picture for each post so far, so I may go in that direction as well, when possible. So my next post will be for Day 1! Stay tuned, and join in the challenge! Pass it on as well to your other favorite bloggers. Though she didn't ask for me to do so, please respect that this was Katie's idea originally, so a link back to her blog in your original post would be awesome. Perhaps during the course of these 30 Days, you can all bare witness to the redevelopment of the relationship with my husband, and how God has me wrapped up in His loving arms. Happy posting!
-Me
Tragic, right?
Well, with the madness in my life lately, I haven't had much I have really wanted to blog about.
And yet, I miss it.
While on Facebook, I noticed my friend Tiffany at Growing Dreams has made a few posts on this 30 Day Blog Challenge. It looks like a lot of fun, and a great little distraction. The original blog came from Katie at Katie's Journey which is where I got this following list of blog topics for the next 30 days:
Day 1-Introduce, recent picture, 15 interesting facts
Day 2-Meaning behind your blog name
Day 3-Your first love
Day 4-Your parents
Day 5-Your siblings
Day 6-A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 7-Favorite movies
Day 8-A place you've traveled to
Day 9-A picture of your friends
Day 10-Something you're afraid of
Day 11-Favorite tv shows
Day 12-What you believe
Day 13-Goals
Day 14-A picture you love
Day 15-Bible verse
Day 16-Dream house
Day 17-Something you're looking forward to
Day 18-Something you regret
Day 19-Something you miss
Day 20-Nicknames
Day 21-Picture of yourself
Day 22-Favorite city
Day 23-Favorite vacation
Day 24-Something you've learned
Day 25-Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs
Day 26-Picture of your family
Day 27-Pets
Day 28-Something that stresses you out
Day 29-3 Wishes
Day 30-a picture
Day 2-Meaning behind your blog name
Day 3-Your first love
Day 4-Your parents
Day 5-Your siblings
Day 6-A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 7-Favorite movies
Day 8-A place you've traveled to
Day 9-A picture of your friends
Day 10-Something you're afraid of
Day 11-Favorite tv shows
Day 12-What you believe
Day 13-Goals
Day 14-A picture you love
Day 15-Bible verse
Day 16-Dream house
Day 17-Something you're looking forward to
Day 18-Something you regret
Day 19-Something you miss
Day 20-Nicknames
Day 21-Picture of yourself
Day 22-Favorite city
Day 23-Favorite vacation
Day 24-Something you've learned
Day 25-Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs
Day 26-Picture of your family
Day 27-Pets
Day 28-Something that stresses you out
Day 29-3 Wishes
Day 30-a picture
I love Tiffany's method of having a picture for each post so far, so I may go in that direction as well, when possible. So my next post will be for Day 1! Stay tuned, and join in the challenge! Pass it on as well to your other favorite bloggers. Though she didn't ask for me to do so, please respect that this was Katie's idea originally, so a link back to her blog in your original post would be awesome. Perhaps during the course of these 30 Days, you can all bare witness to the redevelopment of the relationship with my husband, and how God has me wrapped up in His loving arms. Happy posting!
-Me
Monday, October 11, 2010
10.10.10
Yesterday I was baptized :) My great friend Lynn was the one who performed it for me. I asked her to do it because she has truly been that pivotal person assisting me on my journey to God. Here is the testimony I had written that I read before I was baptized:
I first came to the Chapel in February of this year, and I came in with a lot of doubt, but an open mind. Every week I felt more and more comfortable and the lessons always seemed to speak to my heart. A lot of new truths about Jesus were presented to me, but one stuck out more than the rest. It was the idea that HE pursued ME, which seemed ridiculous. Why did I matter? I felt like all the doubt I carried around with me would be too much for Him to begin to sort through and file away for me. Of course I was wrong. Little by little, doubt by doubt, He settled down and made himself comfortable in my heart before I even realized it and began taking down the bricks. When I began to really feel and accept His love is when I realized I had already been saved from myself. I was a cold, manipulative and controlling person who couldn’t see far enough past my own needs to nurture the relationships around me. When I finally opened up my heart to Christ… I could breathe. Not having this urgent sense of needing to be in control was what I needed all along.
I made a lot of changes in my life. I got rid of the toxic people who always tried to bring me away from my journey to God or who kept trying to plant more doubt. When I finally got the people around me at the proper distances, my relationship with God began to soar.
I wish I could say life was perfect at this point in time for me, but its not. I am faced with this time in my life where I will have to stand on my own two feet. While I am not ready for that just yet, I have found a comfortable spot in the arms of Christ, who I know is carrying me and my children through the ruins until I reach a safe point. At the end of the day, I understand and accept that tomorrow has already been written for me. His plan is perfect and exact, and I don’t NEED to be in control. Everyday He continues to bless me and let me feel his embrace even when I feel less than worthy of His love. He loves me anyway. One of my favorite worship songs says it best ‘Your Grace has found me just as I am. Empty handed but alive in Your hands.’ I have nothing to offer Christ but this broken and bleeding heart, and that’s all he is asking. While I know I am still a work in progress, I know my Savior is prepared to get his hands dirty for me.
I first came to the Chapel in February of this year, and I came in with a lot of doubt, but an open mind. Every week I felt more and more comfortable and the lessons always seemed to speak to my heart. A lot of new truths about Jesus were presented to me, but one stuck out more than the rest. It was the idea that HE pursued ME, which seemed ridiculous. Why did I matter? I felt like all the doubt I carried around with me would be too much for Him to begin to sort through and file away for me. Of course I was wrong. Little by little, doubt by doubt, He settled down and made himself comfortable in my heart before I even realized it and began taking down the bricks. When I began to really feel and accept His love is when I realized I had already been saved from myself. I was a cold, manipulative and controlling person who couldn’t see far enough past my own needs to nurture the relationships around me. When I finally opened up my heart to Christ… I could breathe. Not having this urgent sense of needing to be in control was what I needed all along.
I made a lot of changes in my life. I got rid of the toxic people who always tried to bring me away from my journey to God or who kept trying to plant more doubt. When I finally got the people around me at the proper distances, my relationship with God began to soar.
I wish I could say life was perfect at this point in time for me, but its not. I am faced with this time in my life where I will have to stand on my own two feet. While I am not ready for that just yet, I have found a comfortable spot in the arms of Christ, who I know is carrying me and my children through the ruins until I reach a safe point. At the end of the day, I understand and accept that tomorrow has already been written for me. His plan is perfect and exact, and I don’t NEED to be in control. Everyday He continues to bless me and let me feel his embrace even when I feel less than worthy of His love. He loves me anyway. One of my favorite worship songs says it best ‘Your Grace has found me just as I am. Empty handed but alive in Your hands.’ I have nothing to offer Christ but this broken and bleeding heart, and that’s all he is asking. While I know I am still a work in progress, I know my Savior is prepared to get his hands dirty for me.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Your Hands
Sounds about right... I love JJ Heller. She is pretty amazing and her music has been speaking to my heart these last few troublesome weeks. Here is her song lyrics to 'Your Hands'.
I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away
I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands
When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands
Your hands
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave You when...
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave...
I never leave Your hands
I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away
I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands
When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands
Your hands
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave You when...
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave...
I never leave Your hands
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Harley.
After everything began to hit me this last week, I had to come to some harsh realizations. The puppy I had been waiting so long for, I now could not afford. I was having to think about moving across the country, back home with my parents, and while being with them is a welcoming thought, getting there is not. Its going to be expensive, a pain in the butt and a bigger change than I want. We were going to be moving soon anyway, but now there is a different weight to it. Every mile I will drive is another mile wedged me between my heart and my husband. I still hope he comes to his senses before its too late. But I digress.
I had had my heart set on Harley from before he was born. That's how long I have been talking with his breeder, Sandy. Even then, I felt like God was at work with bringing this puppy to me. There is a really long back story to all that, but again, off point :). When Boats decided he wanted a divorce, everything had changed for me. How could I afford this move, as well as paying for the puppy? I already had sent my deposit for him (though I wont give an actual price on here for privacy of myself and for Sandy) which was 1/3 of the cost. The balance was set to be paid when I picked him up. As much as it killed me, I wrote to her and told her the whole story. A few days passed and she hadn't changed my name off of the website as to being his new family yet. She emailed me about it and told me she just wanted to give me time to be sure. I prayed and prayed that God would help me know if this was the right choice for me. If it was, and it truly was meant for me and Harley to be together, then He would show me a way to help me in the financial crisis. Imagine my disappointment when a stack of cash did not materialize before my eyes! (Just kidding Big Guy!) Instead, I think he spoke to Sandy's heart. She already had made it clear she wanted Harley to be in my family, which makes my heart just swell with thanks. I knew she needed to be sure I could care for him otherwise in this whole mess, and I absolutely can. I would by pass bills before he, the kids or Kadence went without something they needed. Anyone remember the $600 emergency vet trip for Kadence? Haha.
Wow, I'm awful about getting off point today...
Anyway! Our conversation continues, as did my prayers, and eventually the outcome is that Sandy and her generous heart will be working with me on the financial aspect so that Harley can be here with me. She brought up a great point that he will be hugely beneficial in my healing process through all of this. I was sick with wondering how I was going to break the news to Chase, and now I don't have to. All because one woman is so amazingly kind and loves her dogs and wants what is best for them, no matter what that means. Much like me in that aspect. Who else would cook meals for their dog every night?? There should be meetings for that...
So, in all of this storm of doubt and guilt and desperation came this glimmer of light that I thought was lost to me. I was pleasantly surprised to know that in the midst of the chaos, its possible to still feel the pitter patter of happiness in my heart. After having to hold Chase last night as he sobbed because he was sad because he knew mommy was sad, we need this. I am both honored and amazed that I am being trusted in such a way by someone who, by most accounts, is a stranger. She does not know me, and she owes me nothing. Yet she is gifting me with this opportunity.
Just as I was loosing sight of humanity in people, she rides in riding the proverbial white horse. Or Dane... whatever works :)
Sandy, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for bringing this piece of joy into our lives at a time when I didn't think there was any left in this world. You are a truly amazing person, with a beautiful heart, and I look forward to a long friendship with you!
-Ash
I had had my heart set on Harley from before he was born. That's how long I have been talking with his breeder, Sandy. Even then, I felt like God was at work with bringing this puppy to me. There is a really long back story to all that, but again, off point :). When Boats decided he wanted a divorce, everything had changed for me. How could I afford this move, as well as paying for the puppy? I already had sent my deposit for him (though I wont give an actual price on here for privacy of myself and for Sandy) which was 1/3 of the cost. The balance was set to be paid when I picked him up. As much as it killed me, I wrote to her and told her the whole story. A few days passed and she hadn't changed my name off of the website as to being his new family yet. She emailed me about it and told me she just wanted to give me time to be sure. I prayed and prayed that God would help me know if this was the right choice for me. If it was, and it truly was meant for me and Harley to be together, then He would show me a way to help me in the financial crisis. Imagine my disappointment when a stack of cash did not materialize before my eyes! (Just kidding Big Guy!) Instead, I think he spoke to Sandy's heart. She already had made it clear she wanted Harley to be in my family, which makes my heart just swell with thanks. I knew she needed to be sure I could care for him otherwise in this whole mess, and I absolutely can. I would by pass bills before he, the kids or Kadence went without something they needed. Anyone remember the $600 emergency vet trip for Kadence? Haha.
Wow, I'm awful about getting off point today...
Anyway! Our conversation continues, as did my prayers, and eventually the outcome is that Sandy and her generous heart will be working with me on the financial aspect so that Harley can be here with me. She brought up a great point that he will be hugely beneficial in my healing process through all of this. I was sick with wondering how I was going to break the news to Chase, and now I don't have to. All because one woman is so amazingly kind and loves her dogs and wants what is best for them, no matter what that means. Much like me in that aspect. Who else would cook meals for their dog every night?? There should be meetings for that...
So, in all of this storm of doubt and guilt and desperation came this glimmer of light that I thought was lost to me. I was pleasantly surprised to know that in the midst of the chaos, its possible to still feel the pitter patter of happiness in my heart. After having to hold Chase last night as he sobbed because he was sad because he knew mommy was sad, we need this. I am both honored and amazed that I am being trusted in such a way by someone who, by most accounts, is a stranger. She does not know me, and she owes me nothing. Yet she is gifting me with this opportunity.
Just as I was loosing sight of humanity in people, she rides in riding the proverbial white horse. Or Dane... whatever works :)
Sandy, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for bringing this piece of joy into our lives at a time when I didn't think there was any left in this world. You are a truly amazing person, with a beautiful heart, and I look forward to a long friendship with you!
-Ash
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