Thurday Updates.

So it's been one week since I posted the blog of shame.

One week of being more conscious of what I am eating and how much.

One week of mild home work outs.

One week of looking at myself in the mirror and being so mad at myself for screwing up.

One week of kicking myself in the ass and almost wishing to be able to just not eat at all.

One week of thinking none of it would make a bit of difference. That I wouldn't make any progress at all, much like other areas of my life it seems.

So this morning, with knots in my stomach about what it would do to me if I lost nothing or even worse... if I gained anything... I stepped on the scale.

I know it's stupid, but I couldn't even look at first. Why is it when you are standing on a scale, you some how feel heavier?? I peeked from a barley opened right eye to see my sentence.

Last Thursday it read 138. Today, 133.4.

Whew!! Now the hard part is to not let that go to my head and think that I can eat more crap just because I lost a good amount the first week. I need to remember that I wont see results like that every week (and I don't want to! I'm not trying to get to my birth weight, lol) and that once I get back into a routine with weights, there might be slight gains when I am replacing fat for muscle. But for this week, it is a little victory. One I desperately needed after the week I have had.

I will retake my pictures at the 4 or 6 week mark to try and see if I can really see any changes. I will be going to my very first Zumba class tonight with a friend, so if nothing else, maybe I can at least get some new dance moves to teach Bug when we jam to our songs!

Oooo! Sidebar... totally off topic... but yesterday I had one of those 'Omg, I am a horrible mom.' in a funny way moments yesterday. We were driving home from the store (where Bug decided to pull her skirt AND panties down when I pointed out her skirt was on backwards...) and we were listening to my iPod. The song S&M by Rhianna came on, and Bubba was just singing his little heart out in the backseat, lol. Bug was trying, but she kinda just makes up works. She keeps the beat and tunes down though. So yes... that would be my son singing "I might be bad but I'm perfectly good at it. Sticks (thank God he says the wrong word! lol) in the air, I dont care, I love the smell if it. Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me." Its better than during the Akon phase when he would sing "Smack that."

With that, I am off to a training consultation for Harley. Something has got to give with the submissive peeing. This trainer is really well known, so hopefully I can get some progress!