Photo update.

Way too much has gone on to even try to catch up on it all since I last blogged. Lets just recap the most important one... my baby Bug turned 3! I cannot believe this amazingly beautiful little person that I was able to bring into this world. She is just this fabulously loving, goofy, hilariously perfect ball of gorgeous and she gets smarter and funnier every day. As much as I wish I could slow it down, I love watching her grow up into this little lady that has so much to offer. To celebrate, we had a Pirate Princess party for her and she loved every minute of it.






We have a ton more pictures, but these are some of the ones with just her instead of a lot of other people too. After all, it was HER day!

One of the sweetest things about her is how much she loves Harley. He is now 10 months old, so still growing, and he adores her SO much. They honestly have the sweetest relationship ever. I have a whole album on Facebook dedicated to their shenanigans, but here are a few of the most recent ones.





These two could play all day together and he is so sweet with her. I find it hilarious how many people get so concerned about having big dogs around their kids, and mine wouldn't know what to do with a little dog.

One last little update is on the fitness front. As I suspected, after a great loss, I hit a rut, lol. I ended up ordering a new work out system which has been AMAZING! I love doing it... it gets me pumped and moving and I have never sweat so much with a home work out. It is called Turbo Fire. I feel so much stronger and energized. I can't wait to see the results after doing it for the full 90 days. Some days I will even squeeze in a second work out, lol.

One other major thing happened, but that will be its own blog. Blondie was diagnosed with RRP which will mean he has a lot of surgeries in his future just to relieve the symptoms since there is no cure. Like I said... that requires its own post.

I know I need to write another post just to catch up, but this should be enough to hold me over for a bit :) I need to get back to Pintrest!

Matters of perspective.

There is so much that has me down today. My heart just feel heavy and over burdened and I would have no problem just sulking and shutting the rest of the world out.

I am a lucky girl though. I have some seriously amazing friends in my life who seemingly stop at nothing to keep me above water when I feel like just sinking to the bottom. Not only that, but I have friends who are struggling with things that are much more painful than anything I have ever had to face. Yet they are carrying on with just grace and poise.

Simply incredible. Incredible faith. Incredible endurance. Incredible love.

So the troubles I have weighing on me are more bearable than they initially seemed. It may be some of the hardest times I have personally had to endure... but keeping in mind that it can always be harder give you a new perspective. A friend has sometimes said that you should always treat strangers with kindness because you never know what they are struggling with that day. For whatever reason that has been popping into my head more and more often when I am out and someone ticks me off. I stop and wonder if maybe they are in a hurry because a loved on has been rushed to the hospital. Or maybe because they were at work and the nanny for their brand new baby called and said something was wrong. Maybe their 4 legged child has been injured and needs to be rushed to care. Maybe they have a friend who has been having some dark times and is suddenly unreachable... the point is, we never know the battles the people around us have being waged inside of them. Perhaps a gentle smile or encouraging word is all they need to have some of their baggage shifted.

It makes a difference.

We all have struggles that are painful and seemingly impossible; yet someone else is always in just a little more pain. Just a little more broken down. Just a little closer to the end of their rope.

So while I could go on and on about the wild pain ripping through my heart at this time... I'm choosing to remember that I don't have so much to complain about when compared to the trials of friends. I would unload some of their pain on to myself if it were possible just so they could at least catch their breath for a moment.

My heart is still sinking in my own chest, but I'm not alone.

Thurday Updates.

So it's been one week since I posted the blog of shame.

One week of being more conscious of what I am eating and how much.

One week of mild home work outs.

One week of looking at myself in the mirror and being so mad at myself for screwing up.

One week of kicking myself in the ass and almost wishing to be able to just not eat at all.

One week of thinking none of it would make a bit of difference. That I wouldn't make any progress at all, much like other areas of my life it seems.

So this morning, with knots in my stomach about what it would do to me if I lost nothing or even worse... if I gained anything... I stepped on the scale.

I know it's stupid, but I couldn't even look at first. Why is it when you are standing on a scale, you some how feel heavier?? I peeked from a barley opened right eye to see my sentence.

Last Thursday it read 138. Today, 133.4.

Whew!! Now the hard part is to not let that go to my head and think that I can eat more crap just because I lost a good amount the first week. I need to remember that I wont see results like that every week (and I don't want to! I'm not trying to get to my birth weight, lol) and that once I get back into a routine with weights, there might be slight gains when I am replacing fat for muscle. But for this week, it is a little victory. One I desperately needed after the week I have had.

I will retake my pictures at the 4 or 6 week mark to try and see if I can really see any changes. I will be going to my very first Zumba class tonight with a friend, so if nothing else, maybe I can at least get some new dance moves to teach Bug when we jam to our songs!

Oooo! Sidebar... totally off topic... but yesterday I had one of those 'Omg, I am a horrible mom.' in a funny way moments yesterday. We were driving home from the store (where Bug decided to pull her skirt AND panties down when I pointed out her skirt was on backwards...) and we were listening to my iPod. The song S&M by Rhianna came on, and Bubba was just singing his little heart out in the backseat, lol. Bug was trying, but she kinda just makes up works. She keeps the beat and tunes down though. So yes... that would be my son singing "I might be bad but I'm perfectly good at it. Sticks (thank God he says the wrong word! lol) in the air, I dont care, I love the smell if it. Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me." Its better than during the Akon phase when he would sing "Smack that."

With that, I am off to a training consultation for Harley. Something has got to give with the submissive peeing. This trainer is really well known, so hopefully I can get some progress!