That Tattooed Girl

So as promised, I have a little time on my hands at the moment, so I thought I would do a post real fast about why I chose the title of my blog.

Of course it is a reference to all the tattoos I have. I LOVE tattoos. Getting them, seeing them on others, planning for the next... they truly are addicting. In the past, tattoos where seen as the mark of a rough and tough person. Bikers, thugs, criminals. I think with the prevalence of tattoos today, the view has somewhat changed.

I said somewhat.

I know there are times I walk into a place and the first thing someone sees about me is my tattoos. That's ok. I'm good with that. What I struggle with, is that some of said people then assume that I am a 'bad' person. Traditionally, I know most women choose to get tattoos in a place that are easily covered with clothing. I specifically chose not to because they mean something to me, and I like having a reminder of that.

Growing up, I was the golden child. Almost literally. In saying that, I mean that I was the cute little white haired girl who got good grades and hardly got in trouble. Parts of my past have shaped who I am today, some of which being painful. Overall, though, I had a great childhood.

Today, when I see someone look at me for the first time and there eyes are on my tattoos, and I don't see appreciation of the work, but rather disgust or fear in some, it sometimes hurts. Other times, I kinda like the illusion of being some billy bad ass. Don't get me wrong, I cant hold my own just fine, but I don't often let myself get pushed to that point. Not anymore anyway. I see judgment of me and who the think I am pass over their eyes and I literally see them make their mind up about me.

There are few things that I am certain about in myself, but one thing I know for sure, is that I ALWAYS give people the benefit of the doubt, despite their appearance. The bottom of my blog displays a quote that I absolutely love. 'No one can make you feel inferior with out your consent.' Isn't that beautiful? I have to ALLOW someone to make me feel bad about myself, and I DON'T. I never second guess my art work because I got each piece with thought and meaning, and if someone would care to know what they are to me, they can ask. If they don't care to know and would rather prejudge me, then that's fine too.

In most cases, when I have a chance to get to know someone who may have prejudged me on my tattoos alone, I am always given the chance to prove them wrong. Sometimes when I am at the park with my kids, I see other moms staring at me and I wonder if they are thinking there is no way I can be a good mom or that I must beat my kids or something. Once they see the care and attention and affection my children get, they soften to me. I shouldn't have to do that, but I'm ok with that role.

Maybe this is a part of who I am supposed to be. I am a walking example of how prejudgments can be so off base. Yes, I have tattoos. That is one part of me. The bigger parts are that I am a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend. I comfort those who need me, and seek the comfort of others when I am sad. I love to run and be outside. The sound of my children's laughter and crashing waves are two of my favorite sounds in the world. I love my dog as though she came from my own body. Following Christ is a new journey for me, and I love every step. I am a normal person, just like everyone else. Showing someone who may have made up their mind about me before getting to know me how wrong they were, I believe is an important lesson for people to learn. In the future, they wont be so quick to judge.

When we first began going to the Chapel, I was afraid of how I would be received. Its a church, and I know the impression I can give off visually. It had been years since I stepped foot in a church. Walking in there for the first time was a little scary. Every time we go to church, someone always compliments me on my art work. Always. It pretty much never fails. How awesome that feeling was! I know people sometimes recognize my tattoos before the would recognize my face, but that's ok with me. I have them on my body to SAY something without speaking, and I do that rather efficiently.

I know that not everyone appreciates tattoos as an art form, but I do. When there is meaning behind the ink you put on your body, its a beautiful thing. Most of the time, I don't even realize that I have them anymore unless someone comments on them. In line a wal mart once a nice man commented about the Corinthians verse on my shoulder saying it was one of the most beautiful tattoos he had ever seen. Its just letters, but its the over all message he was speaking about, and I get that. I love that.

One thing I never do is apologize for who I am, and my tattoos are a part of that. Some people will close the door on my face before they have a chance to know me, and that's their loss. They will never know my name, just refer to me as 'that tattooed girl' but Id rather them know me that way than to ever be able to speak my name. I am who I am, judge me and you will be judged. My family and friends don't love me any less (which says a lot for my mom since she hates tattoos, haha!) and neither does my Lord. Maybe He isn't a big fan either, but He still adores me! At the end of that day, those things are all that matter.



Take it or leave it.

-Mrs. J